Dispersing the energy within the fear to destroy its power over us
A Releasing Your Unlimited Creativity discussion topic
Copyright 2008 by K. Ferlic, † All Rights Reserved
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Now that we have surfaced as least some of our fears the question is now how do we face them and deal with them. The rule is actually quite simple (at least it is simple in principle). Focus our intent and attention on resolving and removing the fear from the current situation, if not our life. We will be the best judge as to how we want to deal with our fear. This journey is an individual journey and part of a process of clearing our enculturated baggage from around our heart in order to live the life of our choosing. Only we know the best way to do that. It is recommended that we simply focus our attention on removing the fear and in living our heart, listen to our intuitive guidance and act fearlessly, addressing all that arises.
Our path, the path of the warrior in the Creation, is not of the physical plane or any other particular plane of existence. What we need to do for the free unfoldment of our creative spirit may not make logical sense when viewed and judged from the physical plane or any other plane of existence. Our essence transcends them all. It is imperative that we be prepared to act on what arises from our intuitive guidance and know that we have the power and the ability to do anything that is requested or overcome any obstacle, otherwise, it would not have been given to us for, after all, we are the creator experiencing our creation..
What we need to remember is that it is our beliefs what allows us to feel and act on our creative power. How and what we believe allow us to act or not act in the world. The belief that the doctor cures us or a healer heals us is what allows us to go to them to be cured or healed. In many ways the fears we need to face in life are no more than the initiation rites to help us develop the experiential knowing and belief in our own creative power. It is why, in some ways, the fears seem to get harder and harder and trickier and trickier to overcome. As we become more powerful, we become more skillful at overcoming our fears and being to deal with the deeper seated fears we carry. What is important is not the particular belief system we hold, but the belief in the power we have and how much our belief system supports our personal power. The following is a discussion on some beliefs and ways of looking at the world and ways of being that may help to construct the belief structure that will allow us to overcome all our fears.
Consult our intuitive guidance: First and foremost, consult our intuitive guidance as to how to address any fear we have. Ask our intuitive guidance what we need to do to remove the fear. Then honor any guidance received. If nothing is initially received, continue to ask. An answer will come. In parallel with asking and acting on what the intuitive guidance provides, we can use any one or all of the following. Some fears lead themselves to being addressed only certain techniques. The following provides a variety of such techniques. The recommendation is to use what is effective for the creative condition we face. Unless an overall sweeping plan is offered by our intuitive guidance, it will be necessary to continual question our intuitive guidance for insights as to how to go about removing the fear.
Clarity of intent: One very effective way to deal with fears is to have a strong clarity of intent. Clarity of intent is gained by knowing who we are, where we are going and what we are becoming. When we understand and implement these three things about ourselves and our life, we are not easily distracted by fears or obstacles. A strong clarity of intent is like having a good star by which to navigate. No matter how clouded our life becomes or how many and how big the storms rage in our life, they all eventually pass out of our life, as storms pass out of the sky. When they do pass, our star reappears and we only need to find it and refocus our course and heading by that star.
Any journey starts with the first step and each step forward builds on the steps of the past. It is all a matter of moving in a consistent direction one step at a time. With clarity of intent, our path will always be in a consistent direction and we will achieve that intent one step at a time. One particular methodology that is very effective in gaining clarity of intent is to write our eulogy and view our life from the perspective it is all over. Assume that we are going to write our eulogy for our own funeral. When it is all said and done with, what is it we want to be remembered for doing or being? It is recommended to write out our eulogy, editing it as much as necessary, until we think we have obtained exactly what we would like to have said in this eulogy. That then can become the intent for our life to fulfill and becomes our guiding light. It can be updated and/or modified as necessary as we learn more about ourselves and our life.
We are what we think about: It has repeatedly been stated how our thoughts generate our actions and we become what we think about. We are what we think about is the flip side to clarity of intent. Holding to any fear or worry will pull that fear and object of worry into our life in some way even if it only the paranoia that we may face a given situation. The best way to prevent that is to hold a clear intention, with some type of positive statement, affirmation or mantra to keep in our mind. Preferably the thought should be a way of living or being in the world such that, with time, we become that which they think about. In the same way, we should observe our thoughts, speech, and the vocabulary to remove words of limitation and judgment. It may seem like a little thing, but the vocabulary we use contains the building blocks we use to create and describe the world in which we live.
We are our own best fan club: First of all, there is no one else on the whole face of the earth that we are going to spend our whole life with other than ourselves. So my might as well start rooting for ourselves in all ways. We need to support ourselves and love ourselves. That is, we need to give to our true needs and now what mind wants. Now is the time when we need to be actively practicing self-love and being our own best fan club, if we are not already doing so. We should be actively showing how we support ourselves. It may be as simple as spending a few extra cents for the brand of food that we like, rather than buying a generic brand or a brand that we like less. Or, it may be having to give ourselves permission to devote more time to ourselves without having to respond to other people and to distractions. What are we currently doing that clearly demonstrates we are rooting and giving support to ourselves? We need to remember, no one is going to do it for us. Only we can do it ourselves.
Remember, we cannot give to others what we ourselves do not have. Unless we love ourselves and practice loving ourselves, we cannot give love to others. If we donít root for ourselves, who can we be assured of rooting for us? If we donít love ourselves sufficiently to root for ourselves, who will feel like rooting for us? Also, if we cannot accept the love given by ourselves to ourselves, how are we going to be able to accept the love given to us by another? Remember there are no right or wrong ways in a creative endeavor. Some are only more efficient than others. Mistakes are only the learning experiences we need to have to gain the minimum set of knowledge that we need to learn to be successful.
We came fully equipped to do what we set out to do and we have our own unique talents and abilities and those are what we need to manifest the intention for our life. We need to develop and use them.. These unique talents and abilities are the tools that we need to overcome all the fears and obstacles in our life. We were given the fears and obstacles we have specifically help to develop the unique talents and abilities that we carry. It does us no good to try to imitate another. All we do is lose the opportunity and postpone our awakening. But there is no judgment. All we have chosen is a less efficient path. Since ultimately there is no time, we can have all the time that we want to take. We need to root for ourselves, use what is effective for us and become our own biggest fan club. Some fears simply vanish when they know they face a home game and the fans are behind the home team one hundred percent.
Non-Denial, again!: In dealing with the fear, as in surfacing the fear, we need to accept what is and whatever comes within it. In dealing with fear, we need to consciously choose to act and address the fear. When we act, we should act from a position of centeredness, being in the present to the moment, not living in the past or the future, mindful of what arises, and detached from any outcomes. Initially this is not an easy feat. But it can be developed and as we develop our strength of will and personal power, the task becomes easier and easier.
As we act from this position of centeredness, we need to practice accepting and becoming who we are, not denying that which rises from within. Fears, thoughts of unwanted options or unwanted outcomes and the like will surface to attempt to frighten us from continuing our actions. But we do not have to let our mind dwell on them. Dwelling on them will only magnify them and judging ourselves for having them only takes away our power. Recognize them for what they are, and let them go. Refocus our mind on the effort at hand. If the thoughts continue, seek their source and uncover the other embedded fear or fears that are generating those thoughts. But we cannot turn our power over to them. Similarly as we act to deal with our fears, feelings and bodily sensations may arise. They are of the moment. As with the thoughts, we need not act on them, but they need to be heard and recognized. However, if they persist, it may be necessary to pursue their source.
When we are consciously chasing fears we want to remember, we become what we think about. Since we are chasing fears we will be thinking about fears, but do not want to be captured by them. The key to manifesting is holding an intention without doubt, backed by our emotional energy. Our nonconscious mind has the duty to manifest whatever our conscious mind puts and holds in its attention. Strongly held intentionality provides subliminal messages to the nonconscious, as do affirmations. These are ways to utilize the laws of manifestation in our favor. As we work our fears, our conscious mind will be continually moving to and from thoughts of fears, but we do not want our mind dwelling on those fears. This can be very difficult at times, so it is appropriate to repeat our intentionality before we start our fear chasing session and to have a strong positive affirmation or mantra, or a positive emotional tune that we can insert into our mind if we find ourselves focusing on negativity or fearful thoughts. Fear chasing with the conscious mind is a balancing act,. But we can become very successful if we do not deny what arises and are mindful at all times of where we are actually placing our focus and attention.
Know and use what gives passion: Passion is one of the most effective and useful ways of overcoming any fear. Passion and enthusiasm for what one is doing allows the energy to build up and overcome anything that is in its way. This is one reason why emphasis is placed on living the heart because of the passion it provides for life. In any case, if we can tap into whatever puts passion and enthusiasm in our life and put our fear directly in front of this passion, we will have little difficulty in overcoming the obstacle, no matter how big it appears. Once we overcome the fear within our area of passion, we can then go about other areas of our life that do not have the same level of passion, and we find that fear has vanished. This is possible because once we have broken through the illusion and recognize the fear for the illusion it is, it evaporates from all aspects of our life.
Face and remove self-pity: In dealing with fear, from the creativity perspective, self-pity is probably the biggest and greatest ally fear has on its side. Next to worrying about fears, self-pity is probably the greatest creative emotional energy drain we have. Self-pity can take many forms and one of its most common particular forms is to return to memories that have a significant emotional energy attached to them.
In addition to the fact we nonconsciously drain energy from our everyday lives by keeping the emotions attached to these memories, we keep them alive to return to them in moments of doubt and self-pity. The most obvious memories are those that reinforce our regrets, guilts, and the second-guessing that we all seem to do. In general, these memories all contain a flavor of self-pity, and believe it or not, we derive much pleasure by fanning these flames of self-pity. Keeping them alive is an excellent way to keep the enculturated ego alive. What is necessary is that we learn to step out of the enculturated ego and not take our lives personally. We need to detach from what we are doing and put no expectations on outcome. We need to stand back and watch, observe. We need to learn to look at the entire context of what is happening. If we become attached to the outcome and things do not work the way we expected, we are very prone to self-pity. This then feeds the fear that we will not be successful and unable to obtain what we desire or the fear that we are unworthy and not measuring up to our imposed standards.
Self-pity also takes the form that we are not getting what we think we deserve. Here our enculturated ego has an expectation from somewhere in the past that we deserve more than we get. Again, our psyche believes that reality should be working out different than it is. Of course, the reverse feeds self-pity also. It is where the enculturated ego thinks that we are getting what we deserve and we donít deserve something better. In either case, we are not getting what we want. So, here again, we realize there are beliefs that we must ferret out and remove.
Create confidence: Confidence is a synthesis of being our own best fan club and living what we believe. It is essential for effectively dealing with fears. There are essentially three things we need to have confidence. First, we need to accept ourselves as we are and operate from the space that we are worthy, good and a gift to the universe. Second, we need to trust our heart and learn to trust the opportunities for growth that will manifest from the unknown. Third, we need to notice and pay attention to what we have accomplished. Even in something that we consider a failure there are aspects that reinforce our confidence, if we give them some attention. In any perceived mistake, as a minimum, there was the strength and courage to attempt the endeavor. We need confidence to do that. Unless we wallow in self-pity, if we had the confidence to attempt it once, we have the confidence to attempt it again. Also, we are now more educated than we were before you started the first time. We have a broader experience base from which to make our decisions in the future and that is part of what confidence is all about. The more we trust ourselves and step out, the more we know what works and what doesnít work and where and when it works or doesnít.
As our depth and breadth of understanding increases, so does our confidence to pursue something new and untried. It is only a matter of going forward one step at a time and understanding that, if we slip, why we slipped. It is like crossing a stream on stepping stones slightly covered with water. In time we get pretty good, but every now and then we hit one that is not firmly placed on the stream bed or overly covered with slime and we slip and step in the stream or even fall. But, the fact we slipped and got wet because we could not see under the rock does not take away from our ability. In fact, we just become a little more observant and careful. But the ability is not lost. It is the same with facing and chasing our fears. The more we do, the better we get. Yes, we will slip and fall every now and then, but that does not mean in any way we are less able to go on. Just look around, see why we slipped, learn from the mishap and go on. If we wallow in self-pity, we give away our power and slowly the fears creep in and we begin to believe that maybe we canít do it. But we can. Our skills are not lost when we slip, only enhanced.
Confidence frees the energy to move forward without fear or at least with the experiential proven knowledge that we can overcome what ever fear is before us. Any judgments we hold about ourselves and others generate fear rather than confident action. It is hard to sustain confidence in an environment of judgment. As a minimum, it breeds comparisons and feelings of right and wrong. The mind judges the actions of the past and leaves us stagnant in the present and fearful of the future. We need to let our heart decide our actions, not the critical mind.
We need to look very carefully at the fullness of being and inner satisfaction found in the heart and what feelings and sensations arise in our actions for verification of our actions. Any criticism and judgment we have only strengthens the negativity of the mind. Any nonconscious aspect of our mind which holds a sense or feeling of guilt because of some action or deed that was judged as bad or wrong by the conscious self, will not be able to allow the free flow of our creative life energy to create what we desire.
The nonconscious self is extremely stubborn and obstinate when it holds to guilt and feelings of unworthiness. Without the persistence to rid our being of guilt, feelings of unworthiness and self-pity, the nonconscious mind will always find some excuse, some memory, some belief, to refute and negate feelings of worthiness and fearlessness. Confidence in knowing that we have done it before and can do it again is the only strength we have to continue to pursue each and every energy robbing outlaw that is in our mind, whether it be a belief, a memory, or intent. Running away from facing that which arises is our response, but it is a very ineffectual one, and only allows us to continue in the morass and to ultimately wallow in self-pity, wondering why there is no passion for life and there is no enthusiasm for each and every day.
One primary reason why people have difficulty in developing confidence after they act is that they forget that many activities in life are identical to planting seeds. We need to learn to act because it is correct to act and leave the results to destiny. The reason for this is because when we plant a seed, we need to allow the seed to take its natural course once it is planted. If we stick a seed in the ground, once we plant the seed we may water it and/or provide some fertilizer if we know that the soil is poor. But, in general, we walk away and let nature take its course. We must do the same with our actions, for the actions of our life are many times seeds that are planted and the action grows and unfolds of its own nature. We have caused many of the problems and issues in our life because we have not allowed the seeds that we have planted to take their natural course.
We need to realized that as soon as something starts to grow and it doesnít quite look like the way we want it to look if we rip it up or prune it back we stunt its natural growth. We then wonder why the actions of our life donít bear the fruits we expect or anticipate. It is a matter of learning to be happy with and trusting that things are unfolding exactly the way they have to unfold, given the conditions that exist.
Now we can choose to change the condition and we will change the unfoldment. We only need to look at our intention and keep a clear, clean focus. It is why we have to be observant of what is coming into and going out of our life. By becoming aware and mindful, we can learn to see what beliefs and what actions are bearing what fruit. We must learn to trust, stand back and watch for awhile and see what is really growing in our life and then, and only then, begin to rip out and prune back what is growing. It is why we need sometimes to be off by ourselves and reflect in solitude or at least on a very solitary inward journey. That doesnít mean we do it by ourselves. It only means that the journey inward is a solo journey and that part, going inward, must be done only by us. No one else can go deep inside us but yourselves to find out what is there. In doing so, we will have the confidence that we need to confront anything that life has to offer or that we wish to manifest.
Be happy with what is and release our attachments: In the context us here, "be happy" is not necessarily seen as a jolly happiness, although it can be. Rather, it is more of a contentment, a satisfaction, a knowing that everything is as it should be. In dealing with fears, "to be happy with" is probably the most difficult lesson to learn and the most powerful antidote there is to fear. Personal experience would clearly say it is unobtainable if the author did not know that it is obtainable, and the only way to really get there is to choose to be happy in spite of everything that isnít working the way we would like or want. How one might go about learning to be happy with is in addition to choose to become happy with what is is to learn to release our attachments and take responsibility for creating what we experience or at least agreed to participate in the experience we have. Then ask our intuitive guidance as to why we would create or agree to participate in such experiences. If we do this often enough we can being to see the magic of Creation as to how each of us are only getting what we ourselves have choose to experience for one reasons or another. Additional discussion is found in the topic, "Learning to become happy with what is."
Using the ritual: One can use a ritual to address any fear. The concept is very simple. Design a ritual of our choosing or have one designed by someone we trust, around the particular fear that we would like to address. It can be create any way that we like. But, however we create it, it should lay the seeds to convince ourselves about three things. One is that our intent to remove the fear is achieved and we will do so. Two is we have the strength and awareness to face any obstacles that prevent that fear from being removed and vanishing from our life. The third is however that fear caused us to not live our life fearlessly is addressed. Costume and a scenario designed to act out overcoming the fear in ritual can be very powerful at convincing the psyche that a shift has occurred. Besides, would we go to all that trouble to create the ritual if we were not serious about removing the fear? The action of creating and doing the ritual allows us to embrace and honor our own commitment to take action. The memory of the ritual will continually catalyze our life relative to that fear and its ghost if it reappears.
The not doing practice of an initiation and rites of passage are also effective fear-addressing rituals. It is suggested whatever is created that we make it a fun and memorable event because then we will always have the pleasures to remember associated with the fear leaving. Probably the best recommendation in designing a ritual to address a fear is to make it play and have fun. It is in the play and fun of not doing the usual thing that the real gentleness of the transformation process can be made available. The opportunities for play and not doing are only limited by the limits we placed on our creative imagination .
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