Moving past the sex
A Releasing Your Unlimited Creativity discussion topic
Copyright 2008 by K. Ferlic, All Rights Reserved
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Moving past the sex
Moving past sex is primary about consciously accessing the depth and breadth of our creativity of which sexuality is a part. Because sex is what it is, most get diverted by it pleasures, their beliefs and understanding about sex, and/or all the personal and social issues and baggage which accompany sex and sexuality and never move past it. About the only way to not get diverted by the sex to see what lies beyond it is to desire to create something will all our heart and be willing to pay any priced for that creation and to look to see what happens in our life and our creative endeavor as a result of the sex. In any case, whether or not we come to a conscious understanding of how sexuality influences our creative endeavors consciously, it will still impact our efforts and our life nonconsciously. After, all, it is the second most creative state we can enter and, for many, it will be the most creative state they ever enter.
What is not readily experienced is there is a creative ability and creative power beyond the sex. The creative power and creative ability which is accessed beyond sex lies in three areas: the awareness which lies in feeling, the exchange of energy between individuals, and directing the energy into a creative endeavor. Additionally, there are several discoveries to be made relative to sex. In fact, what many seek, and have been seeking all their life, lies beyond sexuality. But what they seek gives feelings of sexuality. So, here again, rather than finding what they seek beyond or in the feelings, they get diverted by the sex in one way or another. Most never experience it because they becomes lost in the sex thinking what they seek is in the sex.
Those who don't face their sexuality never observe what is discussed here. Everyone who goes past, or rather goes through their sexuality, has the opportunity to observe what is discussed here. It is said "has the opportunity to observe what is discussed" because one needs to have their attention and awareness properly focused. That is, we must be focused to observe what the sexuality is really communicating. The literal and metaphoric aspects of sexuality are about creating life or a flow of energy. The proper focus is to be focused on the energy and what the energy is creating. Unless we chooses to become a creator, we will never see how the sexuality is influencing our creative ability and creative power and what moving past the sexuality is all about.
When it comes to accessing the depth and breadth of our creativity and/or for particular types and kinds of creative endeavors, there is the need to move past sex, or through sex. No way has been found to get someone beyond sexuality to see what lies beyond it without the individual facing their issues around sexuality. The issue is that it is not about being sexual with any given individual. It is about creating with another at each and every level of being allowing the energy of the creation to lead.
In many ways moving past sex is much like facing pain. The difference is pain is painful so we avoid the pain. Sex is pleasurable and we want to be in the most pleasurable aspects of sex rather that be in the awareness of the feeling provided in the sexual feeling. Because the physiology of sex is different for a male and a female, what moving past sex looks like for a male looks different than that of a female. What moving past sex looks like is addressed in the topic, "What moving past sexuality looks like" The issue here is moving past the sex and should be read first. In doing so, what moving past sex looks like will probably make more sense to the mind.
The main issue we face in moving past sexuality is that sex is something to be experienced. Until one has an experience of it, we don't have the life experiences to understand it. We can only go there. The safest way to go there is determined by us individually. What is safe for one may not be safe for another and what one needs to do will not be what another needs to do. Only we can determined what is safe for us. Here the wisdom and the lessons learned of others can be invaluable. We are a fool not to use it and/or at least consider it. However, as discussed in the topic, "Problems with lessons learned," the experience of others may not be fully applicable to our situation even though our situation appears the same an other's situation. From a creativity perspective and holding our creativity sacred, the recommendation is to follow one of three options.
One option is to engage in sex according to the enculturated and/or social rules that have been given to us and see where and how we rob ourselves our of creativity, our creativity is not held sacred and/or we give our creative power away in any way. Then, take the appropriate action to call back our creative power and/or do what is necessary to hold our creativity sacred. What exactly this means will be unique to our own individual situation.
The second way is to choose to become a conscious creator and choose something to create near and dear to your heart. Then surrender to the flow of energy which arises from the intention you hold. Allow it to lead. If it leads into sexuality in one way or another, go with the flow maintaining focus on the flow. Look and become very observant as to what arises to divert us from the flow and/or how your understanding and awareness increases as a result of what you have experienced. Again, look to hold your creativity sacred and maintain a single point focus on what you desire to create.
The third way is to simply explore our sexuality. This is not about becoming promiscuous. It is a thought out mature approach to explore what we feel, how we feel and why we feel what we feel. It is about understanding needs versus wants. It is to learn to experience the body relative to sexuality. Here we need one or more trusted individuals who will help us met our objectives and not take advantage of us. How one goes about doing this and/or finding individuals who can assist us is unique to our situation. However, it needs to be emphasized here, we cannot fool ourselves thinking this is a licence to freely have sex. To do so only causes us to become entrapped. The focus and intent must be to truly explore and understand our own sexuality. If done properly, we will have no problems in distinguishing feelings of sexuality that arise relative to any particular creative endeavor in which we engage as opposed to feeling to have sex. .
The key to getting past the sex and sexuality in whatever approach we choose is to focus on creating something that originates from the feelings in the heart and not the ego or the mind. Preferable what is selected to create should like beyond our individual ego and done for the welfare of others. The creation provides an avenue to get past the sexuality. Here the focus is about the exploring oneself and what we need to experience and what we need to do and become whatever we need to become for the creation we desire to manifest. Most people get stuck in the sexuality so they never get beyond it. Unless there is a creative objective that lies beyond the individual ego on which we hold focus, we will become caught in the sexuality.
The following section discusses the three areas of our creative power and creative ability which are accessed beyond sex. The three areas are: the awareness which lies in the feeling, the exchange of energy between individuals, and directing the energy into a creative endeavor.
The awareness within feeling (Top): There is an awareness within feelings for any feelings we have and many of them are very useful in our creative endeavors where we need to step into the unknown. In being in the unknown to manifest a particular creation, we will need to rely on feelings to guide us. However, to access the awareness in feeling and/or allow feelings to guide us, we will need to be able to step past and through the feelings of sexuality.
The awareness which arises from within feeling are best described as a knowing. There is a clarity about what we need to do in life or with our life which comes in a knowing. That is, we know something we have no logical way of knowing. It is beyond what we call psychic abilities. The awareness which arises is more related to how and why things are the way the are for a given situations. One particular examples is awareness of what individuals call past lives or having had an existence in realms other than Physical Creation prior to our current life.
When we open ourselves to feeling and can move past the feelings of sex and sexuality there are profound awarenesses available to us. Sexuality opens the door to the awareness which lies in feeling. All we need to do is to step through the door. The knowing is only accessible through feeling - the deepest feeling to which we can go. These feelings, unfortunately, arise and come through the body tending to enthuse the entire body. The feelings lie beyond the types and kinds of feelings which can arise in sex but are often similar.
Engaging in sex itself will not interfere with accessing the knowings that lie beyond sex. But it is much like pain. We cannot mitigate the pain without going into the root cause of the pain. So too the feeling of sexuality. We can engage in sex but we should pull the string to explore the origins of the feeling and not assume they are just about engaging in sex. However, as a result of the "baggage" around sex and what we think and believe about sex, the sex tends to divert our attention and in a way that usually keeps us from accessing the awareness and the knowing in one way or another.
More importantly, even when we get past all our issues, we cannot access through sexuality any awareness we may need which only comes in deep feelings which lie beyond sexuality and the feeling of sexuality unless the individual with whom we are sexual desires us to access that awareness. They must desire us to access that awareness, does what is needed for us to access the awareness, and are willing to do what is required so that we may live what the awareness directs. This can support can be done by the consciously or nonconsciously.
This may sounds like a very minor point but it has huge implications and is a major stumbling block in several different ways. In particular, the sexuality we experience is not for their enjoyment. If they take it for themselves or the space is not created for what we need to experience it will cause us to miss what we are seeking. The energy must be directed back into the awareness. This particular fact has been the cause of why many never experience the awareness which lies in the feelings beyond sexuality. Our partner makes all the different in the world as to what we can and can't access.
Energy exchange and/or consciousness awakening consciousness (Top): Biologically, sex is ultimately about mixing genes to ensure the propagation of the species. Metaphorically is about mixing energy or awakening consciousness.
Certain aspects of sex can be done solo, if not most. However, there is the needs for another. Skin is a sense organ and it feels. The presence of another allows for feelings that cannot be obtained without another. There are very powerful insights that we can gain through feeling the body when the body is caresses, massaged or held close to another as in sex. This is especially true if one is going to access the deep feelings beyond sexuality. This, of course, is also the greatest trap of sexuality and cause of why so many give diverted by sexuality.
When another is present there is a mixing of energy. The more the bodies are in contact, the greater the mixing. The more intimate the bodies the greater the mixing. We need to remember that energy and consciousness are different aspects of the same material of Creation. We can experience a flow of energy as energy or as consciousness awakening. Additionally the body can be experiences as a form of energy or as a consciousness. As an energy, the body feels and sense energy. As consciousness, the body has an awareness.
Stimulating a part of the body brings forth an energy flow. That energy flow can be experienced as feeling or as an awareness. The awareness arises as a thought, image, understanding or the like within our mind. The feelings which arise in sex are literally aspects of our consciousness awakening. How our body and being are stimulated or how we stimulate the body and the being of the other literally awakens different aspects of our consciousness. This includes awakening body memories stored in the body and/ or long dormant aspects of our being that go beyond our current life and/or we can resurrect aspects of our being that we shut down earlier in life. It is not uncommon to have all three awaken in stimulating a given body part. When this happens, there of course confusions for there is a superposition of memories. The superposition of memories causes us to question what is real and what is fantasy. However, in reality all are real. It is just that our current mind may not have the minimum set of experience to differentiate and sort out the difference in the memories and why they were awaken by manipulating a particular body part.
What is interesting to realizes it that the body can be manipulating to access information and understanding much the way one would manipulate a music instrument can be done to access information. The topic, "Using the awareness of the body beyond sexuality" provides such an example. Exactly how we access this information depends on the intention held by both parts and why they are choosing to explore what they explore. Our underlying nonconscious intentions have a tremendous bearing on what we can access.
To use the body to access the awareness beyond sexuality is very dependent on our composite intention. We need to pull the string as to why we desire to use the body and access what we do to see what is really motivating us. To use the body with the stated intention to access the feeling that lies beyond sexuality as the excuse to become sexual will greatly interfere and bias what is accessed. There needs to be a very clear intention on the part of both individuals and a true, honest and sincere desire to use the awareness of the body. Mind will seek to control in all that it does. Unless we have the clarity and an honest in what we think, we will be allowing mind to create its illusion and not allow us to see the truth of what is. We may access the energy behind the information we seek but a dishonesty on our part will only allow the illusion of mind to filter what we see. Here, again, we should also expect that mind may simply not have the necessary experiences to properly interpret and characterize the energy we access in the feeling beyond sex.
Relative to the exchange of energy, what each individual thinks and believes determines why they are engaging in sex, how they engage in sex and how they response to what occurs in the sex. In essence each individual is experiencing the thinking, beliefs and response patterns of the other. What occurs causes each individual to response is some way. That response is the individual's consciousness responding to what is. In this response, there is the possibility of awakening dormant aspects and/or resurrecting aspects of our consciousness. These awakenings can be experienced or seen as an exchange of energy. That is, there are feelings and/or an awareness we now have within ourselves as a result of the sexual experience with another. Although what is described here is really true for any experience we have with any individual, sex increases the intensity of what is exchanged and penetrates much deeper into the nonconscious aspects of our mind that other types and kinds of experiences. The difference is so great that we seen the sexual experiences much differently that other experiences.
Directing the energy released in sex (Top): In sexuality, there can be a great release of energy. Directing the energy released in sex can be done is essentially two ways. One is in the diversion of play. The other is directly toward what we desire to create.
Moving past the sex focusing on a particular joint creation provides a way to direct all the energy into that creation. Additionally, sex if done constructively it provides a natural avenue to creative play. In allowing the sex to be creative play, there is an incredible information in that play but it is not something that can be done alone. There is the need for another to go into the body. It is not about sex. It is about directing the energy and using the energy that can become available in awareness of the body in what it feels. It is about using the body beyond sex. However, what is accessed is integrally linked as to how the other desires to use the energy. It is here a joint focus is extremely important. Sex and where the energy goes is not only our individual choice but it also directed by the intention of the other individual.
Sex can be a very pleasurable experience that takes us completely out of mind into what we are feeling. By removing the mind or stepping out of mind to be in the feeling, the door is open for insights to arises within our being. We only need to choose how we focus our attention and awareness to determined what insight arise. It is possible to contemplate a given topic and then engage in sex purely to open ourselves to what we feel with the intended purpose of distracting the mind. Then in the distraction of what we feel, insights arise about the topic on which we have focused our attention and awareness before engaging in sex. Probably the best way to move into this type of play is to create some type and kind of opening ritual, ceremony or metatheater that allows us to focus our attention and awareness on the information we desire to access and then move to engage in a spontaneous and innocent childlike play.
Directing the energy of the sex into a creative endeavor is similar by there are some key differences. Here both individuals see themselves as vehicles for the manifestation of a jointly held creative endeavor and each is willing to surrender to the flow of energy of that intention. That is, they see what is created as their offspring and something to which each is willing to surrender. Analogous it is much the way two individuals desire to create a share a child. However the difference here is, the offspring or the child of the relationship is the jointly held creative endeavor. In such an action there is a great passion which arises between the individual to catalyze and motivate their actions to do what is necessary to manifest the desired creation. The key here is that both individuals must truly want what is created, not just the sex. Otherwise, the one having the greatest desire will feel they have been somehow robbed by the other.
There are two discoveries to be made in moving past sex and available in the deep feelings that lie beyond sexuality. One is how sex is a mask. The other is a particular awareness which lies in the feelings.
Sex as a mask (Top): When one removes the filters of sexuality and experience sexuality outside of, or beyond, the biological and enculturated constraints, most will not find the free expression of love and experience of pleasure that we would like to imagine. Rather, there is a discovery one will make. More often than not, sexuality is a way of attempting to cover over a desperate feelings of separation felt within our being. For some it is a profound feeling if not painful feeling. For others it is just a mild discomfort. It can be an experience of separation from everyone and everything or simply a deep longing as feeling separated from something. Most have interpreted this separation from others and the world around us as the need for a mate of some type or kind. Most seek a sexual relationship for they think that the feeling of separation is a result of not having a mate to experience their sexuality and what they think lies in the sex, such a love.
Many experience this feeling of separation as the source of a constant underlying sense of unhappiness. However, the separation is not the cause of our unhappiness. Although we may feel alone, and we will have a deep longing within to reunite with something, this separation is not cause of unhappiness. Unhappiness results from unfilled expectations of the mind. But the feeling of separation results from the inability to act on the desire and longing within our heart to flow with our creative life energy to reunite with the Source of our being. It is much like the water flowing in the river in the "Rain-river analogy for the creative/creation process" There is a path we must take back to the Source and if we cannot follow the path we need to take, we feel separation.
We separate ourselves from the Source for the purpose of experiencing Creation analogous to the way the water in the river is separated from the ocean. It is in returning to the Source the water returns to the ocean. In returning to the ocean there is the freedom and release from being bound by the banks of the river. So too when we flow with the desired intention for our life. In aligning with that intention, we experience the freedom of the Source and a feeling of completion. When we are in Creation, unless we align with the flow of energy carrying us back to the Source, that is, into the experience we incarnated to have to dissipate the energy bound in our desired creation/Creation, we feel separation. When we are aligned with the flow of our creative life energy, we are fully in the deepest desire we could ever experience. But, we are free to express ourselves in full alignment with this flow and experience great internal happiness, and inner satisfaction that never runs dry a feeling of wholeness. It is not being free to be who and what we are that causes the unhappiness. It is not the separation that we experience which keeps us in the illusion that sustains Creation. It is not being free to follow the path we need to follow.
Seeking fulfillment in an external mate to satisfy this feeling of separation is ultimately the result of the inner masculine and inner feminine not be able to come to maturity for whatever reason. Only in addressing our inner needs and live our truth will this feeling of separation turn in to a feeling of wholeness.
Many are unconsciously addicted to the highs and lows of sex, romance and the bondage of conventional pairing thinking a person, a perfect soul mate, will fix their unhappiness. Nothing is farther from the truth. It is only aligning with the flow of our creative life energy wherever it takes us will one find an internal bliss and joy. We need to realize our search for fulfillment in this world can never be satisfied in another. In fact, such a search for another will be the cause of our pain for we are trying to hold onto something which cannot satisfy. No other, no intimate partner or anyone else, no circumstance in life, nothing outside of ourselves is responsible for our happiness. Only the alignment with the truth of our being and living that truth will we find happiness.
Yet no matter how many gurus, teachers, and the like speak this truth, there is a belief that the only real bliss is the company of others. In this regard, many seek one who is supposedly realized or has realized and obtained enlightenment and understanding or they seek the accompaniment of that perfect soul mate who brings that bliss and joy more in an unconscious way. But in the end, seeking and being with another to find fulfillment with another is an addiction like any other. We may feel a calm and piece around another for they make no demands on us other than which we lay our ourselves to become like them. However it is only when we are in the flow of, and alignment with, our own truth and we are free to express that truth will we find what we seek. This is accomplished when the inner masculine and inner feminine come to maturity and that maturity is reflected outward in our relationship. As a result of how the inner is reflected in the outer, we can see the maturity of our own inner masculine and inner feminine in our external relationships.
To find our truth and align with the flow of our creative life energy, we will have to reconstitute our creative power and figure out how we have scattered and fragmented our creative power. Sexuality is capable of helping us reconstitute our creative power and can put us in closer contact with the Source of our being. The reason for this is sexuality is a doorway and can be used as a tool for awareness, a tool for awakening, a tool for enlightenment and a tool for transformation. It all depends on what we desire to create. By becoming physically intimate with another, at the deepest levels of our physicalness, the door is open. It is open to become both deeply intimate with the physicalness of our own body and at each and every level of our being and to become intimate with the way the Source of Creation expresses Itself.
Intention for our life (Top): As discussed above, there in the awareness which lies in feelings beyond sexuality. The business of our life or the intention for our life is one such knowing that arises in the feeling beyond sex. Since the intention for our life is about creating life, it is only natural that there will be sexual overtones when the whole body is enthused with the feeling of the business of our life or the intention for our life. However, most never see this knowing or use it because they become diverted by the sex and/or the conditions in which they engage in sex.
The reason for this is when the feelings arise and enthuse our entire being and we are not open to what we feel, these feelings cause most individuals to move toward engaging in sex thinking the feeling are sexually based feelings when they are not. The feelings are about creating life but not necessarily about creating a physical or nonphysical offspring with another in sexuality although the energy can be used for such purposes and that may actually be part of what is necessary. Rather the feelings are about creative life within oneself, the business of our life, to be brought forth into the world.
Creation is not done alone (Top). What sexuality and the metaphor of sexuality is trying to communicate with humanity is that creation and life occurs with others at the deepest intimate levels possible. We create life and experience life at every level of our being with and through another. There is no creation without another to experience. Sexuality, because it is needed to procreate life, simply guarantees that the understanding can be gained if one is willing to look past the sexuality.
Yet, in general, humanity cannot face what lies behind sexuality for if they do they will find the destruction of their own identity. They will find they are not who and what they think they are. The real issue we have is not sexuality. It is fear and what is it exactly that we fear and why is that the "I" does not exist - it never did. The "I" as we know it is simply a creation of an awareness that transcend time and place. The fear is the ego thinks it will die because it needs to surrender to the flow of energy. It does not realize it is only a creation of our awareness. In stepping beyond this fear we will have to step past the ego that created the fear and that expansion will shatter the ego as we know it. Yet ego can't die, it is only a reflection of the uniqueness of the awareness that is the "I" It is an issue we all face. It is not something unique to any individual.
What is interesting about moving past sexuality is that many are open to what lies beyond sexuality only after they have become disillusioned with sex. That is, there is a strong passion within our being that we feel as a sexual energy. Many are lead to have some type and kind of sexual relation only to find that there is a disappointment after the sex. Not necessarily immediately but as soon as there is time to reflect on what we experienced. That is, they feel something is missing or has been missed. Many are puzzled in that the sex did not give them what they really wanted or thought it would give them. But, it is only after the sex that the sex is seen not to give what was desired, even thought there was initially such strong sexual feeling, that we can really talk about what sex is really all about.
One example was expressed by an individual as follows:
"My whole being was absorbing and radiating with the information that was being exchanged. It was totally sensual! However, when I reflect on the sexual aspect, I felt that the physical sexual interaction was a distraction and did not at all provide me with anything close to the feelings I just mentioned of being sensual.
Then I wanted to make sure my interpretation was accurate of sensuality versus sexuality, so I checked the dictionary: Sexuality: the state of sexual; involvement or interest in sexual activity; sexual appeal or potency. Sensuality: the capacity for enjoying the pleasures of the senses; the quality of being pleasing to the senses. The feeling I had were true to these definitions. The sexual play seemed imposed and had no real lasting effect worth speaking. However, when I allow myself to totally digest and absorb what we happening in the exchange I get a feeling that goes far beyond any sexual act self imposed or otherwise, with a lasting memorable effect that remains with me and has, in fact, changed some aspect of me.
It's almost as if this is what I needed to find out. My feelings are that in the past I had been using sex to try and find that unexplained feeling of completeness or something like that, I still can't find the right words to explain it. In this understanding, I've reached that feeling of total surrender through the overwhelming feeling of sensuality."
It is understandable that what we seek we cannot find the right words but we never will stop trying to do so. Mind is desperate to understand what it is experiencing but the experience is beyond mind and its full comprehension. What we ultimately seek is a FEELING and we have to go into the depth and breadth of what we feel to feel it and that means facing and going past sexuality. The issue is to experience the body and sexuality is a part of the body. How we choose to experience it is our choice but we must surrender to the lead of our heart and not what our mind has come to think and believe for whatever reason or the pain we may have suffered around body and/or sexuality. It is a problem we all face in one way or another. That is why each individual will need to face what they feel in their body and their sexuality in a way they could have never imagined for what they seek lies beyond mind and its experiences. This is why only so much can be communicated in writing. What needs to be said and experienced cannot be done in words.
Most of what needs to be done in allowing the body to feel and in relation to sex and sexuality is to work to get the mind out of the way as to what the heart wants. No other way has been found to experience the feeling that lies beyond sexuality and to remain in those feelings and not get trapped in sexuality unless one experiences their sexuality in spontaneous and innocent childlike play of discovery and exploration. But to do that, we must get past the pains, fears and response patterns we developed when we lost our ability to be in that creative play as child. The key is an understanding of how to use the body. The issue is what mind thinks and believes about the body and what it feels, and about sex and the sexual feelings one has.
To move past sexuality is to have a perspective of being open to feeling and then SURRENDER to what we feel using the WHOLE body and our whole being as to what we feel. It is to use the awareness of the body. It is our perspective what allows something to opened up within us that allows the energy to flow that we will wish will never stop But it is mind which stops the flow. We need to pay particular attention to what seemingly causes it to stop flowing or decrease in flow. We say seemingly for the flow of energy is always there. It is our mind that causes us to lose our awareness of it. The goal is to live our life keeping those channels open. Quite simply it is about having a key. The key is our own feelings and our own body to feel our body and the feelings within our being.
It is about our heart and the freedom of our creative spirit. It is this feeling we need to capture in our mind and go to our internal compass. We need to use this feeling to guide all that we do in our life. All we need to do is stay focused on the feelings we have experienced and ask our intuitive guidance as to how we need to live our life so that those feelings never run dry. Our intuitive guidance will answer us and we simply need to follow the lead of our own intuitive guidance and navigate from the heart.
It is in realizations like this that an individual can begin to understand the issue isn't sex, Sex stands in the way of what must be experienced and one must go through the sex. One cannot intellectualize it away. One must experience it and discern the difference in the feelings.
Each individual must get past the issue of sex before they can come to see what lies beyond sex. There is the need to bring our physical sexuality into what we experience to be able to discern the difference in the types and kind of feelings we have.
What we often feel is flowing from our heart and enthusing our entire being. But we need to have some experience of sex in some way to see it is not the sex which we are feeling. This is why it is important to have stimulated and played with the body. We don't have to have sex with a person. It is about knowing how the body feels and responds to the energy it senses.
Engaging in sex mixed energy. Unless the intent of both individuals are aligned, having sex tend to distract one from having a single point focus for what they desire to create. This is why celibacy is often recommended. It is not because the sex is bad or wrong in some way. Rather the mixing of energy interferes with holding a single point focus for what we desire to create. This of course become a bigger issue if our goal is to transcend the physical and not be attached in any way to Physical Creation. Quite simply if we need to hold a single point focus, sex with the wrong person, or the right person with the wrong intention, will take us off course because of the way we share energy in sex. All that is really needed is one intense physical sexual experience in awareness to bring our attention and awareness to see what we feel in sexuality and compare that with what is flowing from their heart and enthusing their entire being, When a individual has such an experience, they will never become lost.
To move past sex, the focus of getting together cannot be sex. Rather sex should be completion of bringing into physical expression the flow of energy for the desired creation.
Here an important point needs to be made. When the energy flows from the intention we hold enthusing the entire being and the flow causes the sex organs to be stimulated in some way the focus needs to be on the creation and not the sex. Enthusing the sex organs as a result of a flow of energy enthusing our entire being is only a natural process. If we are free to spontaneous and innocently respond to what we feel, we can have sex with the person whom we are with and there will be a completion in the dissipation of the energy. However, if we deny the sexuality experience because we are not free to be spontaneous and innocent in the experience for any reason, or we make the sex the endpoint, we will thwart the flow of energy from the intention and shut down our creative spirit. In essence the energy giving rise to what we are creating will simply vanish or greatly diminish.
This is a very tricky and subtle point. Many are lead by their creative spirit to create a new life. The energy moving to create that new life enthuse their entire being and their sex organs so they are drawn to have sex with another person. The creative spirit is desiring the energy to create or recreate life not have sex as such. However, rather than embracing the life and energy that is created, as soon as the sex happens all of our feelings, thoughts and ideas about sex, and past experiences about sex enter the picture. In essence focus is lost as of our beliefs about sex arise. Additionally, many try and own the other person or control them because the experience is so profound - they want more of it.
Many think the cause of their experience was the sex when in reality it was the energy flowing arising from the intention they hold to create. As soon as mind steps in in any way, the flow of energy arising from the intention is thwarted. This is in part the tradition idea of dating to get to know a person such that the sex arises as a fulfillment.. The sex should flow as a culmination or in conjunction with something larger. Sex as an end in itself will always be unfulfilling. There will always be something missing. There will be the feeling there should be something more. It may take time for our mind to realize this but it will. That is why so many people grow apart after the sex.
What most people do not realize is sex is really a tool It is a tool in several different ways. One of the primary ways it is a tool is the way to mix energy and create a new life at each and every level of being. That is why sex with the wrong person only takes one off course. Sex can also calm the body, open one to feeling to allow them to see through time and space, creates a fertile space to grow thoughts, it can be use to read another individual, it can be used to dump into another individual, it can be use to take another's energy and it can be use to imprison and control another. These are just a few ways sex can be and is used whether people realize it or not. Most importantly, sex opens our creative spirit to its vulnerability and makes us vulnerable if we are truly open to what we feel
The bottom line is that the feelings that people seek lies beyond sexuality. It has been observed every person (male and female) who desired to get to the truth of their heart and the truth of their being has had to face their sexuality in one way or another. Or, when it comes down to recreating their life they are faced with their sexuality in one way or another. It can't be avoided. The issue of sex arises again and again and it always come back to moving through our own sexuality - actually most of it is what our mind thinks about our sexuality and sexuality and sex in general. Energetically, humanity has a very poor understanding of what sex is creatively all about. In essence, the understanding has been suppressed because the true role and nature of the feminine has been suppressed
Although there are great discoveries to be had in moving past sexuality, moving past the sex is not something our mind will want to do. For one reason it will lose control and not get what it wants. As said above, sex is pleasurable and mind wants to experience, and be in, the most pleasurable aspects of sex rather that be in the awareness of the feeling provided in the sexual feeling. If mind moves to follow the feeling it will have to surrender to where that feeling leads and that means loss of control and risk losing the pleasure it feels.
Additionally, as stated above, the major issue we face is that we cannot access through sexuality the awareness we need which only comes in deep feelings which lie beyond sexuality and the feeling of sexuality unless the individual with whom we are sexual desires us to access that awareness. They need to desire us to access the awareness, do what is needed for us to access the awareness, and are willing to do what is required so that we may live what the awareness directs. It sounds like a very minor point but it has huge implications and is a major stumbling block in several different ways. This particular facet is what causes many to miss what they are seeking. We need another who willing support our efforts. What moving past sex looks like and what one may expect is addressed in the topic, "What moving past sexuality looks like."
What moving past sexuality looks like