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The following is a narrative
relating many of the events in the author’s life that gave rise to
the Releasing Your Unlimited Creativity understanding and its
applications. It includes the sequence of events which lead up to
his
outward soul retrieval. More extensive discussions on particular
experiences within the narrative are provided through the
hyperlinks.
Sections
Three views of this narrative
Comments about the journey
Beginning the journey
The mystical path beings to raise itself into awareness
A choice to do something different
Completion of assembling a critical mass
Comprehending the initial results of the Ultimate Accident
Returning to the illusion of mind
Another vision - the catalyst for action
Three views of this narrative
(Top)
The narrative itself can be viewed in several ways. One way is that
it can be seen as the story and description of the authors’ soul
retrieval. This is the perspective the author had as he experienced
the events. It is the perspective provided by his mind based on the
experiences he had in his life. This narrative provides the more
personal and private aspects which parallels the
professional path
determined by his enculturation and what he perceived success in
life to be. In many ways this narrative complements the professional
path and the
employment experience to provide some insight as to
what was going on in the author’s internal and private life as he
traveled the professional path. This interpretation of the narrative
is associated with the
outer dance
we learn to do in the external
world as introduced on the “Our Creative Spirit” website
Another way to view this narrative is as the awakening of his
consciousness to the
mystical path and to the fulfillment of
the intention for his life. This interpretation is associated with
the
inner dance and what is
symbolized in the heart and which needs
to be learned as introduced in the “Our Creative Spirit” website
Yet, a third way to view this narrative is as description of the
process followed by the author accessing and releasing his
creative
spirit and creativity. In this process he united the seen and unseen
aspects of his life into a wholeness and oneness. This
interpretation is reflective of the
third dance identified on the “Our Creative Spirit” website. It is the dance of the creator and the
creation. In this view one becomes the mythical
phoenix and
consciously chooses to recreate themselves when they find the
creation they experience is not providing the satisfaction they seek
or is no longer effectively expressing who and what they are and how
they have defined themselves.
Comments about the journey
(Top)
It is here an important note needs to be made about the journey
described here. If the author had understood the
creative process in
which we participate before the
journey, the journey itself could have been greatly shorten and made
much more enjoyable. The key to shortening the journey was a two
fold realization that occurred after the
Ultimate Accident. One
concerns the depth and breadth of our inherent creativity. The
second was about coming to understand as to why it was said after
the Ultimate Accident the author’s “head is not connected to the
body” and what that really meant. In these two realizations the time
it takes and what needs to be done for an individual to open the
door to access their unlimited creativity and transform their life
can be significantly reduced.
In hindsight it was found that in not truly understanding the
metaphoric statement “Your head is not connected to your body” is
what caused the journey to take as long as it did. Although this
narrative discusses the events leading up to the Ultimate Accident
and subsequent
soul retrieval, probably the soul retrieval as
performed was unnecessary and only delayed the journey. The reason
for this is that he allowed his mind to lead as opposed to what is
symbolized in the heart. Yet this fact can only be understood in
hindsight for, at the time, the author made his decisions as his
mind understood the decisions needed to be made. Quite simply his
head, symbolic of the mind, was not connected to the body, symbolic
of the manifested creation. Rather than knowing how to allow what is
symbolized in the heart to intend his life and mind attending to the
details to make it happen, he allowed the mind to intend the
direction. This is the greatest single piece of wisdom and lesson
learned that can be passed to others.
The span of time for the following narrative took approximately five
years (1993 -1998). That is, five years to rebirth oneself. It then
took another seven years (1998-2005) for the new life created in
reconnecting the head to the body to be able to stand on its own two
feet. In all, the process to recreate oneself, to be that mythical
phoenix, took about twelve years. It is a time period much too long
for most individuals to undertake such a journey. But the whole
intent of the journey was to understand the process for that was one
of the primary intention for the author’s life and then to
teach
others from that experience. The whole reason for providing this narrative and related material
on the web is to provide the lessons learned to assist others who
may wish to recreate one or more aspects of their life in a
faster,
easier and gentler way.
What is clear from the journey is that we each are participating in
a
creative process. Our life is a creation unfolding. We are a
creative living process. It is a creation that we ourselves have
either created or in which we agreed to participate. Our bodies are
the perfect vehicle for that experience of the unfoldment of that
creation. We can save ourselves a lot of frustration, aggravation
and annoyance in life by surrendering to what we have chosen to
create and learn to consciously create with mindfulness and
awareness.
However, rather than seeing our birth and human life as the unfoldment of something larger that is only utilizing the human life
as part of its journey, we think our birth is the start of our life.
For some individuals they see their birth as the start of their
existence. As such, we become frustrated, aggravated and annoyed
that there are forces that seem to direct our life well beyond our
control. Many seek God, minds’s understanding of the Creative Power
behind Creation, to change the circumstances of their life.
Yet what we fail to see is that we are a
creative living process. We
are a creation unfolding and we are only experiencing the unfoldment
of a creation already set in motion. We do have the power and
ability to change the creation that has been set in motion but we do
not understand what we cause to occur when we do. It is not because
we are incapable of understanding, but we do not look to see what
may be affected. Some traditions recommend looking unto seven
generations as to what your actions may cause to happen.
One of the reasons why the author took this journey is that we, as
humans, have lost the understanding of what is stated in the
previous three paragraphs. The author has taken twelve years to
regain what was taken away from him by the enculturation he
experienced in this life and to find a way to communicate that
understanding. Using what was found on the journey but not yet
synthesized into a coherent whole reduced that time for an
individual to recreate themselves to about six years - about nine
months to rebirth and about five years to learn to stand on one’s
own two feet in the new life that was rebirthed. With the completion
of the journey and understanding the creative process, the time can
be further reduced. How much further depends on the individual, what
they desire to create, what they are willing to face and how
strongly they can trust the one who guides them on the journey.
Beginning the journey
(Top)
As discussed in the topic “The
Subconscious Journey into Creativity,”
the journey began many years ago as a child. It was characterized by
a desire and love for play and a love for understanding about how
the universe works. The
conscious journey into creativity started in
a response to being unable to get individuals to explore the depth
and breadth of the problems they faced in the workplace. The point
at which movement began to consciously surface the author’s
mystical path and combine it with
professional path actually began with a key
breakthrough in understanding about two years before (1993) the
experience of the
Ultimate Accident (1995). In essence the author
found a view of Creation that reasonably matched his intuitive
understanding of Creation and he simultaneously became aware of the
power, and need for,
clear intention. The understanding he accessed
was an understanding about
triune self, a
way to begin to work with triune self and a
way
to use clear intention through a
single point focus.
With an understanding that seemed to fit what he intuitively knew,
he began a daily practice that reflected the marriage of this
external understanding with his internal knowing. That is, the inner
understanding became reflected in an outward manifestation. The
marriage of the inner and the outer bore fruit about two years
latter with an experience of the
Ultimate Accident. Then about two
years after the Ultimate Accident there was
external confirmation that a rebirth had occurred and was
physically manifesting.
As was discussed in the topic, “Protecting a Creative Spirit,” about
two years (1993) before the Ultimate Accident he became aware that
in two years (1995) after October there would be a radical shift in
his life relative to its creativity. It was in August (1995) two
years later that
his car burnt up on
Interstate 70 and the symbolism of the event was not missed. The
following September (1995) that he set the intention to see if he
could create a
Critical Mass of Enlightenment Experiment. The choice
to see if he could create a Critical Mass of Enlightenment was also
a subconscious step into the depth and breadth of his true
creative power.
Throughout all his life all the author ever wanted to do way play.
As was stated in the discussion “The Need to Get on With Life” in
first grade at age six, he use to complain he was sick all the time
so he could stay home and play. Whenever and wherever he could, he
would play. But it was a particular type and kind of play that he
would seek. It wasn’t playing as most people thought about play. It
was doing something that caused a particular feeling to arise within
his being. He could practice the clarinet for hours and feel the
play. He could sit and work word problems the summer between his
Freshman and Sophomore high school years and feel he was at play.
Play for him was about doing something in life that created a
particular internal feeling. Using such an internal feeling to guide
his life lies at the essence of how the internal compass works.
However that feeling of play in his life essentially went dormant
until high school. Until high school,
his model trains kept the
feeling alive as well as into middle age.
In high school, he began to learn how to go around the system to
create what is necessary. With the understanding about learning
how to go around a system he spent the next 20 some years going
around the system to experience play. One way he did it was to always
change what he was doing. He discovered by doing something new all
the time, he could challenge himself and have the feeling of play.
So by the time he reached his early forties the author was averaging
18 months per job position with even less time at any one assignment
- and the cycle was tending to get shorter, and shorter, and
shorter. In essence he was become bored with the life he had created
based on how he was taught the world was created. Eventually he
would have to
look for an alternative way to live life.
In the fall of 1993 a reality wave struck. Here he was in his early
forties. He had successfully leap frogged from position to position.
He rose higher and higher professionally and organizationally. He
essentially reached the top in August, 1992. He remained there until
September, 1993. And, most importantly, he had fun doing it - it was
almost like play. The only thing he lacked was the official
recognition of what he had done. But he had reached the top of the
pyramid both professionally and organizationally. In his personal
life, he essentially had it all. He had the house - two car garage,
of course, a home, dog, and all the other stuff that went with it.
He had completed what society required of him.
The
mystical path begins to raise itself into awareness
(Top)
Interestingly, a trip to the Southwest United States beginning in
Sante Fe, New Mexico, was offered to him in August 1993. In essence
, it was more of a pilgrimage into the past. But it was also a
journey into the future for, in essence, it was a job interview at
two different levels. One level was by the friend who offered the
trip. He wanted to create a mind body healing foundation and asked
the author to accompany him on part of his journey into the
Southwest. It was the time the author and his friend spent together
that ultimately determined that the author received an invitation to
help create the mind body foundation and become its Executive
Director. But there was another interview that was offered.
The Releasing Your Unlimited Creativity material is about assisting
individuals in accessing and releasing their unlimited creativity. It
is about both, awaken a part of the unconscious and revealing many
aspects of the subconscious. To do this there needs to be another to
call forth the
creative spirit and create a safe and secure space
for it to awaken and come out. One of the roles the author played
for his friend was to help create that safe and secure space for his
creative spirit to come out and express in the way it needed to do.
So, in effect, he was also being interviewed for a new role in life.
The trip laid the seeds for a spiritual and metaphysical
transformation. At the end of the trip while eating lunch in a
Chinese fast food restaurant in Phoenix, Arizona, the author had the
vision of himself as a Samurai warrior ceremoniously presenting his
sword to a spiritual/physical leader - one who represented truth. In
doing so he was offering his loyalty and it felt as if he was
offering the strength of the equivalent of a thousand warriors. He
had no real understanding what it meant - at least at the time.
Upon returning from New Mexico, events were beiginning to happen rapidly.
The author was faced with a choice. Because the organization was
restructuring and beginning to downsize, he would stay where he was,
play second fiddle, cause some disruption to people who were
personal friends, and maybe arrange to get back on top. Or he could
leave and start a new game somewhere else. Not wanting to disrupt
the lives of his friends for whom he had great personal and
professional respect and not really liking to play second fiddle
after being in the solo and number one slot, he chose to look for
opportunities to play elsewhere.
Creative as he is, he struck a deal which for all practical purposes
allowed him to move almost laterally. But, as soon as he moved the
people with whom he cut the deal left and larger organizational
changes brought new people in power. Consequently in October, 1993,
he found himself organizationally positioned to face three battles
professionally which went to the core of what the author believed
and for which he stood during his entire professional and adult
career. The battles were not about corruption but about unawareness.
In brief summary, there were three issues that needed to be
addressed in the organizational change. The question was what was
the best way to address the issues? One was do you educate people
and allow them to determine what is best for themselves or do you
tell them what is best and leave them no option? The second was
about giving people what they need and not what you want to give
them because you think you know what they need. That is, do your
homework and find out what the job really is requiring one to do
rather than making assumptions about it. The third was about letting
people determine their own fate using the resources they have rather
than mandating how they are to use those resources and do the job.
Quite simply, it makes no sense to hire professionals to do a
professional job then tell them how to do the job. In facing all
three if these issues, the author was the minority opinion. His
opinion and position went against the organizational direction.
Rather it was in favor of what he learned long ago as discussed in
the topic, “Band Company - the first real experience in
organizational theory.” He realized the assumptions being made about
the organization were not valid yet he could not bring any one’s attention to that fact. The organization had already
predetermined how it wanted things to be regardless of the facts.
It is said that a good general never fights a two front war - and
three fronts, well - they don’t talk about that, it would be utter
lunacy. Needless to say, the battle lines were drawn. The author had
no thought of giving up on any one of the three fronts. For years
the author fought to educate people to understand that with which
they worked and any associated hazards to allow them to choose for
themselves and do what was best for their particular situation. The
author passionately believed in giving the people the tools they
needed to be empowered and to be allowed to determine their own
fate. He understood that knowledge and empowerment was
the fix
necessary to address the types and kinds of issues the National
Academy of Sciences identified years
earlier when he was hired at the Department of Energy. He felt he
had only one choice - engage the organizations tides that were not
flowing in that direction because they did not address the root
issues of the problems they were attempting to face. It needs to be
remember, as discussed,
the author did not see himself as being expected to perform based on
his supervisor’s desires or the positions description within the
organization. Rather, because of the calling, he took employment
with the
Department of Energy with the understanding that wherever he was
placed, it was to work to fix the root issue of the National Academy
of Sciences report. But the seeds of the future were already being
planted.
His car had burnt up on Interstate 70 indicating a change in
the future. Although unknown to him at the time, the muse that would
led him into the future was already on the scene.
A choice to do something different
(Top)
By September 1995, almost two years later, the author had lost one
battle, brought a second to a draw, and unknown to him, was about to
be annihilated in the third. In many ways, the author was
discredited professionally for standing for an opposing view.
Nevertheless, over time, he was proven to be correct. However,
memories can be selectively very short, history tends to be written
by the victors and no one likes being told, “I told you so.” The
fact he was correct was irrelevant. Although he amasses amazing
information about organization al creativity and why the
organization kept stumbling over itself, no one wants to here it. Too
many have made their reputation on the course that was charted.
Realizing the workplace could not provide him the type and kind of
play he desired, he decided to look at his creativity and look to
see if he could create the
Critical Mass of Enlightenment
Experiment.
In late September, he was offered to take another short pilgrimage.
It actually was a planning meeting for the mind body foundation
for which we was asked to help create and become the Executive
Director. But to him, it was a pilgrimage. As discussed in “A
Critical Mass of Enlightenment
Experiment” the trip afforded the
author the opportunity to receive an offer from the Universe.
Unknown to him at the time, the offer contained the conditions that
needed to be created to open the door to understanding the depth and
breadth of our creativity and why so few access their true depth and
breadth of their creative power and ability. It identified what was
needed to be done that would ultimately “enlighten” him about how to
create such an experiment and lead to the Ultimate Accident. In his
own way, he accepted the offer.
On return in October, 1995, he realized
his passion for his trains
just vanished as his own awareness fortold. He didn’t understand
why until later, but it was gone. Only in hindsight did he realize
the significance of the awareness that he had two years earlier that
his trains would no longer be available after October 1995. It wasn’t the availability of trains as he
thought the awareness foretold. Rather all of his emotional and
creativity energy where shifted. Only he didn’t know it or
understand it at the time. As perceived by his conscious mind, his
acceptance of the offer made by the Universe set his life on a new
path. Yet, in actuality, it wasn’t so much moving to a new path as it
was aligning with the destiny this life offered if, if he was
willing to take it.
Here an important note needs to be made about
free will. In
exploring the creative power and ability available to us it is very
clear we are not
puppets on a string. We have the power to create
our experiences and the reality of those experiences. However, we
each also have a density open to us. But we have to accept that
destiny. We have to be willing to surrender what it asks of us to do
and not do what our mind wants. That destiny will give us both a
passion for life and for living and an internal satisfaction that
never runs dry no matter what is happening in our external world. As
the author looks back over his life, the deep undercurrents of
Creation continually called him to a given path and destiny. But the
strength of his own will and the power of his mind to choose based
on what it thought and believed was more than sufficient to chose
and create another path. He had to choose to surrender to that path
and what it required.
By December, 1995, his emotional energy and passion for a
professional life was gone - totally evaporated. There was a
tremendous unconscious shift in awareness. Nothing really changed in
his life yet all the opportunities and prospects professionally at
work, outside work and at home seemed to evaporate. Work all of a
sudden became synonymous with isolation. Professional standing and
credentials were somewhat sacrificed over the years to fight what
felt like moral battles, and in many ways they were - who has the
right to determine one’s future - the individual or another. Yet,
the author began to feel isolated because he was now seeing how
differently he saw the world work. In many ways it seemed he was
being emptied.
The arrangement to partnership and start a much sought after
emotionally and creatively stimulating mind-body-medicine foundation
as a means to the future also collapsed. What he did not realized is
that to change anything of significance in one’s life internal
changes much occur first to make room for the change. In this
regard, many aspects of his friend’s life and his life were
changing. Through no fault of their own, the changes shifted the
ability of the author and his friend to work together. On the
surface it seemed as though the author and his friend were growing
apart but the change necessary for the author and his friend to
create what they desired required each of their lives to undergo
transformation and move in different directions. What was not
obvious to the author at this time but only revealed in hindsight is
that the creative process requires internal changes that must
accompany desired external changes. There is the need to withdraw
or unplug from the world as we know it and experience it to create
something different. How much we have to unplug totally depends on
what we desire to create. So, in addition to the professional
relationships, although they took a little while longer, many of the
friendships the author had with others in his life also underwent
change.
In essence, twenty-three years of private life with all the
enculturated baggage of youth and societal expectations was crushed
under the weight of the change he chose to make. What wasn’t
realized at the time was that all the enculturated dreams and
understanding that childhood brought were dying. As they died, so
did the emotional energy associated with the trains. The trains were
the physical manifestation of holding on to the dreams of childhood.
The trains were the safe haven for the authors creative energy in
that world given to him by the culture and society in which he
grew up. What was dying was the hope, the dreams and the
expectations which society gave him. He realized that most of his
life was living for other people. He could not be who he wanted to
be as reflected in the essence of his being. In many ways he did not
know who he wanted to be, but whoever he was, he was more a product
of enculturation than a product of his own
creative spirit. The life
he created in that enculturated thinking was not allowing him to act
the way his creative spirit wanted. The current system was not
working to meet his deepest needs and everything he tried to do to
change it externally was not working. He came to realize what he was
doing was simply depleting all his energy in trying. There wasn’t
much energy left. Everything was dying. But one more thing needed to
die.
The author knew for some time things were not going the way he would
expect based on the solutions that society provided and/or
recommended to fix any of the problems he faced. It didn’t seem to
matter if it was a personal, professional or an organizational
problem. Things just were not working. He tried them all. He
listened and read the authorities and gurus. He was looking for that
which was effective to create something different and nothing was
working. In many ways he was beside himself. Nothing seemed to be
working and he seemed incapable of helping anyone with anything that
would work.
Completion of assembling a critical mass
(Top)
Although things were not going the way he desired and the way he
expected, he still loved to play, he loved to do experiments. It was
at this time he made two choices almost simultaneously that, in
essence,
assembled the final pieces of a critical mass to create the
conditions for an experience of the
Ultimate Accident. First, given
how nothing conventional seemed to be working he chose to
look for an
alternative way. He began an exploration into the unseen realms of
creation based on
an intuitive insight/feel he had years earlier as an undergraduate. He
started this exploration of the unseen by a visit with the psychic
spouse of a college classmate. In this visit he was told, he was
just starting his life work. He was told he would be a builder of
webs of like-minded people and there would be books.
Second, he had agreed to help an individual to do what was
necessary to create what seemed to be their
heart’s desire. It was
to create a retreat center were individuals or a community of
individuals, who shared a common outlook and desire for a life,
could come together in a way which was mutually supportive and
allowed for the journey in life at all levels (physical, mental,
emotional and spiritual) to be made with someone rather than alone.
It was to be a safe and secure space where an individual could have
the freedom to explore and act to manifest their heart’s desire. Its
essential difference from existing places was that the retreat
center would give the individual the freedom to explore, discover
and act on the truth of their own being rather than following some
external tradition, social, religious, spiritual or otherwise. To
accompany the retreat center there was also discussion about the
concept of writing a book on finding such a family of individuals.
As stated above, the arrangement to partnership and start a much
sought after emotionally and creatively stimulating
mind-body-medicine foundation as a means to the future collapsed.
Along with that collapse went the associated relationships. Because
of the pain caused by these collapsing dreams and expectations, the
author felt it was necessary to ensure the startup of any new
creative endeavors and/or partnership with another was done within
the proper context.
In agreeing to work with the individual to create a retreat center
the author knew something needed to change, something needed to be
different in terms of how individuals work together. That is, the
author felt that maybe his ego and the desires of his mind over rode
the necessary changes that were required for the mind body
foundation to be created. The author wanted to ensure in some way
his ego would stand aside and allow what needed to happen, happen.
He felt it was the ego of the individuals, his and others, in some
way were interfering with the necessary creation process. He wanted to
try and ensure that did not happen again.
Since he had been experimenting with setting intentionality, he
felt there were two things that needed to be done in starting any
new creative endeavors/partnership. To ensure things were done
correctly, he set out to start any new creative endeavor in a very
clear intention. The question was how to ensure the establishment of
that clear intention.
Although he read and studied all his life, over the six years prior
to December 1995, he had done an enormous amount of reading on
spirituality and metaphysics. Being trained as a physicist and
having a love of play and experimentation, he created a “spiritual
experiment” in an attempt to align the internal and external
Creative Powers of
Creation/creation with clarity of intention for
what they desired to create. In essence he challenged the Creative
Powers of the Universe and to see what happened. In reality he was
not so much challenging the Creative Power of the Universe as much as
he was challenging how and what he was enculturated to believe about
the Creative Powers of the Universe and our intention. In essence,
he was only accessing his own understanding of the Creative Powers
of the Universe and how they operate.
First, based on what he had learned about metaphysics and
spirituality, he created an
opening prayer. It was designed do
several things. It was designed to set a clear intention for the
creative endeavor and properly set the stage. It sought to assist
and direct the egos to move aside and called upon the assistance of
the external Creative Powers of Creation for the endeavor.
Second, the author chose to create a series of rituals. Because
there seemed to be a lack of freedom to act because of enculturation
and hardships of life encountered by his associate in the past, the
rituals included a portion related to actions specifically freeing
their creativity from these binds of the past. For years the author
always described his work in safety as teaching the birds to take
the bar off their cages to give them the freedom to do the correct
thing. He always felt when he advised people in the workplace he was
showing them how to free themselves from their perceived limitations
and limited thinking. So here was an opportunity to do just that.
But it was to be done at a new level with the appropriate spiritual
and metaphysical understanding.
Additionally a ceremony was constructed around what the individual’s
intuition provided as to what they needed to experience.
Ceremony/ritual was enough out of the ordinary to be different, but
sufficiently believable that the psyche could retain involvement in
the ritual as opposed to believing it was fantasy. It was designed
for the bound creative spirit to find a freedom of movement and to
catalyze the creative endeavor. One function of ritual is to provide
the mind and body with a powerful memory which the individual can
draw upon to continually catalyze their efforts when circumstances
become difficult and obstacles arise in the creative endeavor. The
ritual was done in the spirit of love, play, creativity, and clear,
focused intentionality.
Comprehending the initial results of the Ultimate Accident
(Top)
There were two results. One result of the ritual seemed to be the
Ultimate Accident for the author. The other result was as the author
acted to create the conditions for the Ultimate Accident, he created
the space for the release of other individual’s bound creative
spirit. What the author experienced within this individual much like
what the author experiences years earlier when he would release the
charisma of an individual as discussed in the topic, “The Experience
as a Healer.” In essence, he created the space for their charisma to
come out.
It is stated here that the results seemed to be the
Ultimate Accident for the author. Initially the author thought he created the
Ultimate Accident through the ritual and in creating that space it
would allow the creative spirit/charisma of others to come out. It
was not until the author tried to recreate the Ultimate Accident for
others using the ritual that he discovered it wasn’t the ritual that
lead to the Ultimate Accident for himself. Nor was it the particular
ritual that allow their creative spirit to come out. Rather, the
Ultimate Accident occurred when he created the actual conditions
that were identified in the offer made by the Universe during the
planning meeting trip at the end of September at Virginia Beach.
Those conditions happened to be incorporated in the ritual he
created.
The release of the individual’s bound creative spirit seemed to be
more of a by product as a result of the author experiencing the
Ultimate Accident. In part that was true. In experiencing the
Ultimate Accident he created a safe space for the other’s creative
spirit to come out. But there was more to the process. Only in time,
reflection and a few additional lessons learned did the author
come to realized he needed to create the space to get an individual
in touch with the source of their creativity and then allow the
individual’s own creativity to lead them to the Source.
Our problem
is that mind thinks it knows how to get us to a conscious experience
of the Source of our creative power. However, we need to realize our
mind is what
keeps us from continually being in conscious awareness of the Source
and having access to the true depth and breadth of our creative
power and ability.
What the author failed to properly consider for the longest time was
that the ritual he constructed was based on what the individual’s
intuition provided as to what they needed to be experience. In the
same way the author was provided an understanding as to what he
needed to face during the Virginia Beach trip, the individual had a
dream/vision/insight as to what they need to experience. To them it
was sort of a fantasy. Mind will always make the true path to the
Source of our creative power look like fantasy or simply a construct
of our imagination. However, the author took the fantasy/intuitive
insight at face value. The author created the space for them to
experience that fantasy within the ceremony. That in turn was the
key for their creative spirit to come out. Their creative spirit has
a safe and secure space and the doorway was provided for the
individual to step through based on their own insight which honored
their unique creativity. In many ways the ritual/ceremony
constructed honored and embraced the unique creativity of the
individual’s creativity spirit and that is what allowed it to feel
free to break with the binds of the past.
There is a physics phenomenon where when an observer observes an
experiment and their observation changes the experiment. Reality, as
are all our interactions, is very much like this phenomenon although
we are consciously unaware of it. But in reality is a two way street
- the observer changes the experiment, but the experiment also
changes the observer. We are a
creative living process which changes
who and what it is by the experiences we have. The ceremony was
quite effective. The binds and limitations were released, but in
both participants. Some experiences reinforce the past causing us to
remain the same and some change the past allowing us to become
different because of the experience.
As a result of the ritual/ceremony, there was a renewed passion and
enthusiasm for life with great creativity and clarity of life’s
purpose in each individual, especially for the author. Everything
seemed to be there that was needed, all the pieces seemed to fit
together. Challenging the Creative Powers of the Universe and what
the author was enculturated to believe did pay off. There was a
personal experience of oneness/Oneness.
The author was imprinted with the experience of the Source
that took time to digest.
It was nine months later before a clear way to communicate the
awareness appeared within the author. Although there was a great
difference in the magnitude of the experience, in time the author
realized the current experience was remotely related to
what was
experienced previously while in college. He come to understand how we are never really removed
from the
source/Source. Rather, the separation is only an illusion
created by our mind for the sake of an experience of our own
creation. Yet, there was an even a deeper correlation between the
college experience and current circumstance that the author would
come to understand but only as still more time passed.
Returning to the illusion of mind
(Top)
Within days of the
Ultimate Accident, during what he thought was a
routine vision to an empathic, intuitive, osteopath, he was told in
a somewhat surprised tone by the osteopath “Your head is not
connected to your body.” The intuitive observation of the osteopath
was a surprise to both the osteopath and the author. In essence, the
comment was about finding the mind-body connection. In particular
about how the enculturated mind was so removed from the intention
which lied behind, and gave life to, the body. The author’s first
thought was, “If this is true, why didn’t anyone else see this
before now?”
What the author did not realize at the time was his energy had
already shifted toward the intention for his life as a result of the
Ultimate Accident. The internal changes were now being revealed
externally. The internal disconnect between what he thought and
believed and the intention for his life of which the author was now
becoming consciously aware was also being revealed externally in
what others could see if they were perceptive. However, it would
take time for the thinking and beliefs of the author to come into
alignment with his life purpose. As long as the author continued to
believe his mind over what he felt and his intuitive guidance, the
correction of the misalignment would only take longer. As he was
told by several psychics with whom he worked while
looking for an
alternative way, “It will not workout as you think/expect.” Quite
simply his thinking and what he believed was out of alignment with the
where he needed to be going. The next phase of the journey was
really about changing what the author thought and believed and then
living the changes in the world.
In any case, relatively quickly there was an intuitive insight from
the individual who sought to create a retreat center as to someone
who might help to address this seeming lack of connection between
the head and the body. The author was lead to an intuitive/psychic
healer. In meeting with the author, said the
fourth chakra, the
heart chakra was twisted and shut down. It was twisted like you
would twist and seal the top of a plastic trash bag. She also added
it was shut down when the author was very young. The event appeared
to be related to being in a valley next to a creek.
The author recalled being down in the creek valley seeing what was
called Chartier’s Creek named after an early French explorer up
close for the first time as a child. It was a reasonably sized creek
flowing in Southwest Pennsylvania near Pittsburgh. The creek was
orange from runoff water from the closed coal mines. He remembered
that his young mind could not understand why the water was orange.
As a child, he never saw a clear stream or creek in his local
environment until he was maybe six or seven year old. To see a clear
stream, he had to get far enough away from the mine runoffs. All the
natural water flows were where he lived were orange.
The lady continued on and said , “You made an agreement with your
father that you would not start your life work until his passing -
where are the dog tags?” The author replied, “What dog tags?” She
responded “The one’s you played with as a child.” She was referring
to his father’s military dog tags from World War II. Dog tags were
two pieces of metal worn around the neck imprinted with an
identification much like that used to identify dogs. The author did
recall playing with them as a child.
World War II did have a very significant impact on the author’s
psyche as a child. Although born after the war, his life was
impacted by those in the war. The dog tags which the child held onto
were symbolic of what his father lost in the war - his innocence.
The lost innocence was not so much in fighting the war and the
enemy. Rather it was an innocence about those who stayed behind
and used the system for their advantage. It was about those who
stayed out of the military service and capitalized on the sacrifice of
others.
To address the separation a head and body the psychic/intuitive
healer suggested a shamanic soul retrieval. At the time, the author
had no better idea at the time to correct what the external world
seemed to be telling him. Additionally, in spite of all that he had
learned, he was not yet aware enough to simply look inside and follow
his own internal guidance as to what needed to be done. So, he
elected to have a soul retrieval performed.
Another vision - the catalyst for action
(Top)
Within a few weeks of the
Ultimate Accident while during a
planning meeting for the retreat center, there was a combined vision
birthing that can best be called a gentle
phoenix experience. The
vision was about rekindling the flame within the heart in a gentle
fashion rather then the typical and traditional harsh phoenix
experience. There was the vision that each person has a life to be
lived, a life to be experienced, encoded on their soul that is
expressed in their heart, through their heart and heart's desire.
The heart’s desire, in essence, is an experience unique to the
individual, that no one has ever had before and no one else can
have. It is one that is carried uniquely within each heart. When
living from that heart space, the individual then becomes one with
the spirit of God within and lives life passionately and
enthusiastically. Within this vision were books, a learning center,
a retreat center and much more. Over the next two months there was
great creativity. It was at this time the author begin to play
around with initial ideas on writing and collecting the ideas to be
addressed. All the ideas seemed to be there. There seemed to be
enormous clarity.
As the author moved to create that
soul retrieval, fate, or maybe
rather destiny, stepped in. Something puzzling happened about the
time of the soul retrieval The soul retrieval was delayed twice. It
was as though things were not ready until the universe was ready.
Something needed more time, but what and why? In hind sight, it
seemed as though the universe needed to allow a sufficient, but
minimum time for the author’s psyche to become imprinted with this
freed creative spirit and, in essence, become addicted to this new
spirit of creativity and life in the spirit. He needed to be
imprinted much the way he was imprinted by the experience of the
unfolding flower. He needed time to understand how it was possible
to live
an alternative way as he set out to find. Quite simply, the
alternative way was about a life lived with a free creative spirit
with free expression of what has been called the
individual’s
charisma or the gifts and talent each
individual possesses inherent within their being.
As was stated above two things happened with the creation of the
ritual to ensure the proper start of a joint creative endeavor. One
was the author experienced the
Ultimate Accident. The second was the
other individual experienced the release of their bound creative
spirit. It was a wonderfully, powerful, playful, creative spirit
much like the spirits the author saw released in the past as
described in “The Experience of a healer." It was as though the
author needed to be impregnated and imprinted by what he was
experiencing in the presence of this released creative spirit. It is
as though there was a communication going on between the author’s
psyche and this released creative spirit. When the data transfer was
complete, the connection was broken and the soul retrieval could
proceed. For when the soul retrieval occurred, everything again
began to change. He saw this creative spirit seemingly become
captured and die. It was as though he was watching the Greek Story
of Persephone being played out in front of him.
The soul retrieval occurred in late February, 1996, and what it
symbolized by heart was open symbolically. The author began to feel
and experience life very differently. Almost simultaneously as he
changed and began to experience life differently. However, as he
shifted, he watch the released creative spirit of the other slowly
start to wane and wither. It was if this newly released spirit of
creativity for writing and creating was being strangled. The author
clearly saw what was happening but he did not know what to do.
He
had seen the same type of phenomenon before. He knew the scenario. Had watched the slow death of newly
released creative spirits before. But, he didn’t understand the
particulars about the current situation to be able to do anything
about it. All he could think of was the Greek myths being true in
that they do reflect reality in some way.
Years earlier, he routinely saw new spirits of spirituality released
in individuals and how these spirits faired once released. So he
recognized the phenomenon which was occurring. He noticed two things
when the spirit was released. The first was that authorities always,
in their own way, captured and contained the spirit and directed it
the way they wanted it to go. They did everything they could not to
let it out on its own and do its own thing. They claimed it was for
the protection of the person. It was almost like creating spiritual
slave labor - release the spirit and harness that spirit for your
purpose, not the purpose of the spirit for which it was created.
Second, over time, when the environment in which the spirit lived
was too much like the old environment or the spirit could not find
its proper place and way to express itself in a new environment it
withered and died. Only to be bound much harder than the first time,
since now it is afraid to come out again having been once
suffocated.
The author watched this newly released spirit of creativity
similarly die. Although he may have know enough to help release it,
but he didn’t known enough to create the environment to sustain it.
His experiment with the Creative Powers of Creation was a success,
but in its success was the pain of understanding of what exactly he
had done. Little did he realize he had destroyed that which he was
bringing forth. Without realizing it, he began to control that
spirit much like the authorities he saw in the past. Rather than
allow it to be free, he saw its energy and playfulness as a means to
create something larger. He saw it as a way to create that vision of
a gentle
phoenix. In essence he wanted to harness it when it desired
freedom Because he sought to create something with this released
creative spirit rather than just letting it be free to find its own
expression, he caused it to withdraw.
However, in the process he did come to learn and understand what
would need to be done next time, The pain of knowing what he had
done allowed him to begin the
shamanic journey into the heart. All
shamanic journeys begin with some type of injury, illness and death
which involves the stripping away of how one thinks reality works to
allow the individual to see differently and view an alternative way
being in the world. Where as the shamanic journey is an individual
unique journey, different societies have traditions and different
understandings of how the journey must be taken, but it must be
taken to reach that internal place of knowing. It has also been
known as the Phoenix experience. In the Western tradition it has
been known as the
Dark Night of the Soul. The Dark Night of the Soul
is simply the shedding and falling away of all that is of value to
which the ego is attached. The
pain arises because of the
attachments and not letting go.
For a brief period of time, the author experienced exquisite
creativity, enthusiasm, clarity and understanding. There was a clear
oneness of all things. So he asked why. Why was such an experience
given and taken away so quickly. He consulted the oracles in his own
way and the following answer was received, “Be aware that you need
an emotional purpose for a large vision. An emotional purpose will
keep you driving forward. Accept your choice. When you make a choice
accept it completely and surrender to all the experiences that go
along with your decision. When the choice is made, stop evaluating
and let go of your desires and expectations. Experience what is.”
This is, of course, easier said than done.
Alternatively said, one needs passion to create. The greater the
creative endeavor, the greater the passion that is needed. Passion
is only the flow of energy that can be accessed and directed into
one’s creative efforts. It is essential to have some thing on which
to focus to both give rise to the passion and on which to direct or
ground the flow of energy so that a creation will manifest. If you
wish, look at it much like a lightening bolt. There needs to be
something which creates a powerful electrical potential or separation
of the electrical charge and then their needs to be a way for that
energy to discharge in a lightening bolt because of the flow path
created to some ground point. So too our creative passion. There
needs to be generation of great energy potential then something on
which to focus to discharge that energy.
The experience of the
Ultimate Accident and the release of the
playful creative spirit of another and its subsequent recapture and
loss of the possibility of creating that gentle
phoenix without that
needed playful spirit definitely provided an emotional purpose to
understand what captured that playful creative spirit. It served
this role well. It created both the separation and a path to
discharge the energy generated by the separation.
Almost immediately the author went through the
Dark Night of the Soul in a way he could never have imagined. Usually the Dark Night
of the Soul is created because one does not release the attachments
one has. That is, not letting go of the past and what mind desires.
Rather, the author experienced a Dark Night of the Soul because he
could not let go of the future. Yes he was attached, but he was
attached to what is possible. He was attached to that future where
each creative spirit is free to unfold true to itself. Realizing and
knowing what is possible when the creative spirit within the
individual is free to come out and unfold true to itself was too
magnificent in what he saw it could provide to let it go no matter
how much pain it created. That awareness of what is possible is what
sustained him and gave him the courage to continue the journey into
creativity. His Dark Night of the Soul was base not on the past, but
in the future. It was in the pain of knowing how much we are missing
what is possible when the creative spirit within each individual is
not able to be free..
It is clear that sometime in the September, 1996, time frame the author
was re-birthed into a new understanding that slowly grew and
evolved. As described in “The Rebirth” he noticed that he started
bleeding from his navel for a couple of days. He also got a call at
1:30 in the morning from a psychic he met in San Francisco while on
a business trip, stating that a crystal was to be inserted in his
heart to give him energy. When asked who was to give the crystal and
do the insertion, he was told that God was going to do it. In many
ways it was a classic shamanistic type story.
In October 1996 he felt as though he was out of the cocoon so to
speak when he did a guided visualization and the image of a
butterfly just leaving the cocoon came to mind. The egos shell of
the past had completely shattered. In March, 1997, he was able to
understand sufficiently what has happened and was able to begin to
write It was only in May 97 that he felt his passion and energy
starting to return, at least to the level sufficient to begin to
write in a coherent fashion and to truly be able to begin to live in
the awareness he accessed. In looking at his journey, the Universe,
in Its own way, allowed him to simultaneously see the shamanic
journey, the hero’s journey of myth, the Western Dark Night of the
Soul and the Kundalini rising to compare them as he experienced the
journey. But there was much more to explore and discover before he
had the understanding to act on the possibility of creating a gentle
phoenix and creating the
critical mass of enlightenment experiment.
In particular, with the understanding gained, it is expected that
the process of recreating a aspect of our life and/or revealing and
living the intention for our life will be made gentle. This and
associated web sites are the first step in making the necessary
understanding available to people for creating a gentle phoenix.
There is a death that the enculturated ego must undergo to recreate
itself and/or reveal and live the intention for our life. With any
transition there is some pain but much of it is determined by how
hard one holds on to that which must be released. Most of us get
what we think is our truth from enculturation - from our parents,
our friends, our authorities or in general from others. Living the
intention for our life is learning to get our truth from within,
from that place of silent knowledge, secret knowledge or inner
knowing. But there is nothing secret or complicated with accessing
this information. It is simply about feeling and learning to find
our way through the unknown of our own being and in the world using
our
internal compass. The inner awareness is what can guide us
through life. It is real and it is effective. There is nothing
secret about it, it is secret only in the sense that most people
have not been taught how to tap into it.
Index of topics
related to the origins of the Releasing Your Unlimited
Creativity Technology and applications
The pieces of the puzzle
Origins and Occasions
for the Releasing Your Unlimited Creativity Technology and it
applications
Index of origins and occasion topics
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